Taking the Epistle

A biblical journey through the epistles

05 – Parents


Honor your father and mother

This is a series on the “Decalogue” or “Ten Commandments” these are found in the second book of the bible Exodus in chapter 20. Moses receives these words from God on top of the mountain and he receives the commands on two tablets. The first tablet contains the instructions for man’s relationship with God. We pick up the account in the twelfth verse of chapter twenty where we see the fifth of the Ten Commandments.

Exodus 20:12 (ESV) “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

As I parent I have a cherishing for this verse I never had when I was a child. If my dad is reading this then I apologize in retrospect for the type of kid I was for a lot of my childhood.

There really is no finer honor as a parent than my child honoring me, actually listening to what I say a desire to do what they are instructed to. We have all been there, if not actually as a parent but as a child. We all recognize the bond between a parent and their child.

There is a process that we go through when we grow up and that is how to honor and how to obey in a relationship status. The first that we do is the one that first, most of live with the parents that birthed us and God right off the bat wants us to respect those people that God has entrusted us to.

Further on in our lives if we are public schooled we have to respect teachers, lecturers, employers, supervisors, pastors, police and civil authority but like so much of Gods plan, the standards have to be set in the home.

As parents my wife and I have a very short time to influence, mold and fashion our daughter into a young woman who knows that not only will her parents always love her, but her parents will always have her back. We have to instill in her values that she will carry with her the rest of her life and most importantly, we have to show her that our faith is real and show her the reason why we pray, worship and the reason we read the bible at home and at church.

Paul talks about this in the book of Ephesians…


Ephesians 6:1 (ESV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.


Again we see this in Paul’s letter to the Colossian church…

Colossians 3:18 (ESV) Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Parent’s responsibilities

Which brings us onto the parent’s responsibilities; we are not to provoke our children to wrath, to unbelief as this is not the way the parent/child is supposed to work. Yes we are to demand respect but we are to do so in love.

The parent’s job gives me an insight into the fathers love for us, how deep that love is and how far I would go for my wife and child. I have never known love like this and it is but a small reflection of God’s love for us as a father, I would literally not have a boundary distance I would not travel for my child and neither does God. If there was a loss of contact between me and my child, there is nothing I would not do to resolve that and God is the same way, he sent Jesus to restore man’s estrangement from him.

Children’s responsibility

We read in the book of Proverbs chapter one…

Proverbs 1:8 (ESV) Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

The foolish child

The foolish child is made an example in Proverbs in the following verses

Proverbs 17:25 (ESV) A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him


Proverbs 19:13 (ESV) A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.


So we see here that if the child is allowed to not be corrected, to run foolishly it affects the running of the whole household. In the first verse it states that he gives his father grief and gives his mother bitterness. In the second verse we see that it causes ruin to his father and causes so much grief that it causes the wife to quarrel or nag the head of the home.

So in laymen’s terms – foolish child = family discord

As parents we hold a certain responsibility to help train up our children, it is also mentioned in the book of Proverbs…

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV) Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

We are to instruct our kids because like it or not they respect us and will try to mimic what we do, both good and bad, personally I have been shamed when my daughter (who did not know any better) let me down after repeating something she heard that let us as parents down. It was a valuable lesson believe me! Lastly look at the wise child

The wise child


Proverbs 10:1 (ESV) The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother


Proverbs 15:20 (ESV) A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

A world of a difference huh? The wise son makes his father glad, the wise son is trustworthy, the wise son establishes the status quo of the house and gives love to the mother and honor to the father.

As a dad…

As a dad I will be as hard as I need to be on my daughter but I will love her more, I will love her more until she finally finds that one who will be her forever partner. When I am satisfied that that man will be good enough for her and will love, honor and cherish her, which will make me happy.

As a dad I will teach her the basics of the faith and let her understand why we believe what we believe and be able to defend her faith as commanded to in 1st Peter 3:15. I love her too much to not tell her the truth about her Savior Jesus Christ. What loving father would not do otherwise? I love my little girl too much to not let here decide between an eternity with her Savior and an eternity in the lake of fire!

Stop rebellion

We have to stop rebellion at an early age so that she will not rebel in her adolescence as I want to see my child have a long and happy life, safe and secure in the knowledge that in addition to her parents here on earth who love her, she has a Savior in Jesus Christ and a Father God who loves her and wants communion with her.

God views this as important as he mentions it also in the book of Deuteronomy 5:16,  which reads…


Deuteronomy 5:16 (ESV) “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.


This is how important to God that you honor your father and mother. It is a reflection of the relationship you have with God the father, so I have one question for you, do you honor your parents in the same way that you honor your father in heaven?

God bless and I pray this was a blessing and please feel free to like, share or comment on here or whatever social media platforms you use as the Lord leads you to, as always I love questions about this or any other article so please feel free to fill in the form below, all comments are moderated to avoid profanity.

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