Ladies – win them without a word
1 Peter 3:1 (ESV) Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
It is not often that I get to brag on my wife, however if it was not for her beauty and her kindness, I am convinced that you would not be reading this blog today. I have reviewed the above verse over and over again in my heart and used to have it memorized. The reason for this devotion to this small chunk of scripture is simple – I have lived it!
You see, up until late 2005 I was a raging alcoholic, an impending marriage to the lady who is now my wife did not stop me from my self-destructive path. A quiet Sunday morning in a small Calvary Chapel in the west end of Glasgow, the week after I quit drinking was step one on a path to where I am today. (If you want the full story check out my “testimony” page)
My wife Chelsea also blogs, if you have not had an opportunity, then please check out her blog at this link. But she “showed me Jesus”, we made mistakes along the way for sure, but I certainly would not have the unshakable faith I have today had it not been for my wife.
This is a call to arms to all women who may or may not want to obey this scripture, the husband is meant to be the head of the home and the wife is the keeper of the home, in today’s modern families both or either partner (I use that word because marriage is a partnership) may not have to do the traditional roles. I know that in my household, both of us earn money because of our different gifts.
Will they be won over by your conduct?
I can only speak for me and say that I was. There is something so beautiful about a God fearing woman; from a man’s point of view I must not do anything to pierce that. People get very literal with this passage and mean it that if you don’t have braided hair and wear lots of jewelry that you are somehow less of a Christian. I know that such things don’t interest me and my wife is beautiful to me most when she is her, when she loses herself in the worship of the LORD. That is real beauty!
Also if you are reflecting your Savior then you will inspire discussion into where it comes from, if you are infectious for the LORD then you will have comfort in times of trial and also you will have the love and honor of your husbands.
Despite the fact that my wife and I are a success story, I would not advocate missionary dating. I know that for my daughter I would like a man who is a strong Christian and an effective leader in the home. I want my daughter to have what my wife has and also all the things my wife does not have. I know no man is perfect but I do want the best for my daughter.
We have to be really careful with what we hold in our hearts, the reason I say this is that we can get really discontent with all of the stuff that we do not have. This is counterproductive as we then fail to recognize the many blessings we have. If we live in the western world I can guarantee that we have more than we need, even in the most abject of poverties, but we still whine when we see others on vacation or others get new “shiny things”.
We then start to question God and question whether we are truly being blessed. It is hard because the human heart will naturally covet perishable things and things that are temporary.
This leads to chasing what others have, coveting other folk’s things in order to “get ahead” and when we get in that mindset, we get desperate. We start taking on more things, to get more stuff and life becomes far more complicated than God would ever have planned.
Then we start getting into cycles like debt, depression and un-fulfilment because there is that “God shaped hole” that we are trying to stuff our stuff into. It is all perishable; it is as good for you as eating fruit that has gone off. I know in my life I am guilty of this and need to devote more time to the finer (Godly) things in life.
Call him LORD
Maybe not literally, my wife does not call me lord and I am not sure how I would feel about it if she did. But in her heart I know that she loves and respects me. Do I tick her off? Of course I do? Do we bicker? not very often, Am I all that she needs? (Ouch) Guys this is our part! The next few verses tell us that
Do not hinder your prayers
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
We have to love our wife’s, it is not a dictatorship, it is a partnership. We have promised on our wedding day to love, honor and cherish. Every day when I come home from work, I am glad that my wife is there, sometimes she is teaching lessons and sometimes she is there to greet me, either way I would not choose anyone else.
Out of everyone I know, I pray for my wife most of all. Partly because she has to live with me, but as she is the primary educator in our family, she has a lot on her shoulders. I understand that she doesn’t have a 9-5; hers are more like 8-12 midnight.
Love your wives by doing more
Like I say guys, it is a team effort, don’t complain about the dishes, get off your butt and go do them! Same with the laundry! It won’t kill you, just do what I do and seek advice of you are not sure. (I didn’t once and I now have a pink football jersey!)
My hope is that in this blog you found something useful, edifying or challenging, as usual please share, comment or like below.